Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
