just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
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