Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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