just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
