mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize
