i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Just puked most of my soul out..
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
