is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
