just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
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Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
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Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Dick very happy bro
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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