Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Randomize