You really coming over, don't trick.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
