you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
