please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
