At least make sure they are 18
Why
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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