I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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