it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
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I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
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So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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