do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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