I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
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just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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