What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
