My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Randomize
