people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
