yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
