apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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