you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
