So drunk its hurt
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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