First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Randomize
