Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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