I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
operation have a gay friend backfired
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
