kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
you never un-have a 4some
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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