Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
