Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
