Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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