I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
