That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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