Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
So many bounce houses so little time
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize