I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize