She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
