I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Randomize
