WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
