yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
