You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
