I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
