im having a threesome with these popsicles
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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