i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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