Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
