The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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