Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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