Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
