The maid of honor just puked.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
