Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
