I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize