Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
