"it" just moved
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
