I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
