"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Lo siento on account of my penis...
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
