i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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