Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize