the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
