We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize