so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
