If i come over, it means nothing
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
