I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize