My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
