Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
