cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i think i have two assholes
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
