I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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