just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
